Why you should NOT stay at Rakkh Resort?

Well, for starters it's the land kept by gods. So if you have not been a ‘good boy’ then you might anger the gods. Trust us you don’t want to do that. They are not happy, fat old men singing on sleighs.

You should not come to Rakkh if grey is your favourite colour. Grey of the tall buildings, grey of the car smoke, grey of the smoggy sky. At Rakkh your eyes will be disturbed by the clear blue skies with white cotton clouds and the occasional rainbow, the many hues of green all along the mountain slopes and valleys with bursts of colourful flowers making it worse for your monochromatically inclined eyes.

You should not come to Rakkh if you are a city dweller who cannot be weaned off the loud noise and foul air as Rakkh has potentially dangerous sweet silence and fresh air.

You should not come to Rakkh if you have a plastic dependence owing to a lifetime of drinking out of plastic bottles and eating reheated food served in plastic containers. Rakkh is a no-plastic zone. Our water is from our Charuru, natural water spring with its dissolved minerals. We serve food freshly cooked in copper and earthen pots on earth friendly plates and bowls.

You should not come to Rakkh if you are a cyborg attached to a 6 inch screen. Viewing the world through and living your life on an OLED screen with Virtual Reality. Rakkh is a digitally detoxing place and might prove fatal to your cyborg existence as you will be forced to rip your eyes off the 6 inch screen and live Actual Reality. If you are from the previous version of cyborg attached to the 32 to 54 inch hole in the wall, you are really doomed. As our walls have much bigger holes in the wall which actually open up to the world outside with its quadrillion colours and googolplex pixels.

You should not come to Rakkh if you are living the bewitched life with your little ones being such angels that they don’t trouble you if you give them the spare crystal ball to stare into when they are eating or if you just want to calm them down. But the muggles at Rakkh will corrupt your child somehow by sucking the magic out of them and destroying their ability to peer into the crystal ball! Sometimes we wonder if our activities managers and our village chefs and cooks are wizards and witches in the garb of muggles. Siphoning the magic out of your children and replacing it with simple joy, happiness, love for fun and games in the outdoors. Blasphemy!

You should not visit Rakkh if you are a couch potato. Mountain people or Pahadis as they call themselves, are crazy about potatoes. They steam them and skin them and indulge in them. Well, our activities experts are true blood Paharis and will leave no stone unturned. You will be cooked and steamed in your sweat as you climb walls and mountains, bike across the valley, go clambering on boulders, not to mention the skinning as you might experience chafing with all the walks and treks they will get you to do. As this was not enough they will take you to the pottery station and make you prepare your pots from clay. You might even be forced to weave your own shawl to wrap in. Beware if you survive to the end of all this, you will have lost your mind and identity and never be the same couch potato ever again. Is it worth risking coming to Rakkh? You decide.

Worst of all, if you are allergic to smiles and laughter, there is a perpetual epidemic infecting Rakkh. Everyone is always smiling at you! How could they! No decency people have, wishing and smiling all the time. We really feel for you. Please make sure you do not come to Rakkh. Even if you somehow skillfully survive hiding from the people, the founders of this happy place have installed booby traps everywhere. Signboards with humorous and witty messages dot the entire property making you smile and laugh. We sincerely advise you to keep away. Better safe than sorry. If you have forgotten what laughter can do to you. Here is a reminder of the symptoms.

• Starts with the tightening of your face muscles as they curve upwards.

• Weird sounds come from your throat and in severe cases, through your nose too.

• If infected with a more happy strain, your eyes will water too and your face turns red.

• It could even lead to stomach cramps as you fall on the ground and roll around. Not to mention the fall hazard itself.

We have made our point about why you should not visit Rakkh. Now the ball is in your court. 

Brought to you by

The Rakkh Patrika


Ghamrota Village Post Office Ballah ,Tehsil Palampur, District Kangra, Jiun, Himachal Pradesh 176061